I'm not a big believer in conspiracy theories...

...but no matter how ridiculous they might be, they all reflect a certain underlying truth: There are things going on in the world that you can't control; rich and powerful people are making decisions that affect your life without your knowledge or consent. You might end up losing your job or fighting in a war you don't understand and never know exactly how it happened or who decided it would happen.

I finally did the math...

...and figured that if I sleep eight hours a day, and I live to be 72, I will have spent 24 years of my life asleep. If I can get by with six hours of sleep and I live to be 72, I will only have spent 18 years of my life asleep. That's six extra years of consciousness, which seems pretty significant when you look at it like that.

But I'm not convinced that consciousness is absolutely the best part of being alive and I don' t think I could live to be 72 if I only got six hours of sleep at night--or that I would want to.

Surly Underlings in Girly Underthings

I don't really have anything to say on the subject: it's just some words that've been floating around in my head for the last day or so.

Consider it a form of Google abuse. The only place in the world where these words appear in exactly this order.

Mostly, I don't think...

...there's a whole lot wrong with the massive proliferation of online porn, but I guess it can be a little dehumanizing. For most people it's still a big deal to expose themselves to the entire world (I guess: I don't actually know any nude internet models--or, at least, not that I know of), but there are so many other naked people out there that it doesn't necessarily make an impact on anyone who sees them.

I guess blogging is sort of the same thing in a slightly less intimate way, and when compared to the horrible indifference of the Universe in general, it doesn't amount to much.

The thing about evolution...

...that I hadn't considered before, is that humans aren't just descended from lower life forms: we're descended from particular lower life forms. Not this blue-green alga, but that blue green alga; not that burrowing mammal, but that other burrowing mammal. Makes the whole thing a lot more personal and slightly unsettling. There are no assurances that our ancestors were the best of their kind--just the best suited for that one brief moment.

And there are probably plenty of reasons to take issue with the term "lower life forms," but that's not really the argument I'm trying to have.

After a while you start to think...

...that if the Left says one thing and the Right says something else, then the truth must be somewhere in the middle.

And if that's the case, then either everybody is lying or everybody is wrong. So you should be just as skeptical of the people you agree with as the people you don't.

If you have any doubts about how lazy people actually are...

...then spend a few hours working in a four-story hotel with a broken elevator.

You will also discover that an astonishing number of people have bad knees, arthritic hips, etc. America is definitely aging, and not doing it any too gracefully.

I hate it when strangers call me by my first name.

I really hate it when customers repeatedly call me by my name. It strikes me as a hostile act intended to belittle me. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive, but I don't think so.

Somehere deep in the corporate mind...

...is the idea that you can make it difficult for people to do what they're supposed to and still reasonably expect them to do it.

You can ignore human nature if you want to, but it's not going to get you anywhere.

I guess the only thing cheesier than a fake Rolex...

...is a real Rolex. A case can be made for something being the absolute best of its kind, but this is just something that's better than it has any real reason to be.

Maybe Rolexes and stretch Hummers and other ostentatious crap can be seen as a reaction against the overwhelming impulse of capitalism to make things cheaper and cheaper with only a vague regard for quality or function. But it's really just good old-fashioned elitism. The way things are going, a privileged few will have Kobe beef and milk-fed sturgeon hand-delivered to their homes 3 times a day while everybody else struggles to get a cheeseburger off the value menu.

I have nothing against capitalism, but I would like it better if I were richer.